JediWright.com

Several of my recent posts took a downward, perhaps defeatist attitude of sorts. A number of readers felt the need to email directly to share their insights, experience and concern over me/them. So I just want to make it clear that I’m fine.

Things can get intense, as we all know, and recently has been no exception for me.

As a hardcore Capricorn, I come down uber hard on myself. A lot. That’s just how it is. I’m a perfectionist. And quite an impatient one at that, when it comes to certain things. Mostly with regards to my career as so many around me continue to succeed at any number of things.

I have yet to meet any real substantial success in life and it’s just driving me nuts. This is just one of my challenges in life: to be happy where I’m at.

Anyway, thanks for everyone’s support; it is appreciated.

I must vent. Now.

DistinctiveFabric.com, Inc. is tanking (or so Josh and I think), but what the hell do we really know anyway? We’ve only been running this damned thing for four and half years now and barely with any involvement from its founder and our chairman, Adam. Guess this is what you get for putting a couple of first-timers in executive seats and a declining economy. Ironically enough, our sales have only been going up since last August, but our previous debt carried over, coupled with an inconsistent cash flow, just hasn’t weathered the dip in December as well as we’d hoped and planned for.

SolarHoster.com is failing before it even runs.

InfinityDrive.net is failing. Again.

GreenGurus.net…is all the above and more: I can’t even log on or into the damn site.

The baby is due any day now and we’re broke. Tristan wants to move back to Cali. I want to stay and I want to go. I wanted so much to birth Rivertribe finally.

Now all of my business ideas are crumbling. And I can’t get a job because either:

1. My credit is so bad they won’t hire me
1a. I’m overqualified on paper due to past employment
2. I never finished school and got a degree and the necessary experience
3. The economy sucks ass cause the rest of this country shares in some of my misery

I’ve lost hundreds of keyword domains I never should have bought in the first place.

I’m now thirty freaking years old and my life is miserable. Okay not really. I still fight and fight and fight for success. I have no idea of what drives me. I had hoped to figure that out with a whole lot more in life before having a child.

Now what? God only knows. Actually, I’m now giving serious thought to starting up a church. A fucking church. Jesus Christ. I must be insane.

Either through “Order of the Jedi” – I now own orderofthejedi.net and jedichurch.net
Or through “Moon Temple” – I now own moontemple.org and moonchurch.org

I’m fucking crazy. I’ve always known it. And I always see people thinking the same freaking thing, even if they deny it when asked.

Well, if I’m crazy I might as well build my own crazy house, heh?
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Update 1.15 10:50am: Feeling a might bit better now. Course, the wee hours of the night often leave me despairing more so than the light of day.