JediWright.com

Today I submitted my resume, along with my LinkedIn profile, to Twitter for their Founder Associate position.

I asked Alissa, an old west coast friend, what she thought of this and she graciously offered to put in a good word for me.

I’ve had minimal luck getting jobs I’ve gone after previously, so it’ll be interesting to see what kind of feedback, if any, I get on this.
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Update 1.22 9:07am EST:
I’m questioning the appropriateness of this post right now…I’m so used to posting on just about anything I do, it’s become so ingrained that it was an automatic reflex to do the same with this post. Hopefully I’m not committing any sort of faux pas by doing so.)

Baby’s coming any day now, Tristan is going insane with the wait and feels like it’ll never happen. I keep promising it’ll be over soon, but my words seem to be falling on deaf ears.

Nothing for it but to wait it out and do whatever I can to keep her occupied until then.

Tough timing though trying a new job, prep for the cross-country move back again, and a slew of other equally complicated details. But I’m confident everything will work. I always work things out with half or less the trouble perceived from the start.

Now if only she could share in my optimism…

My office is too cold, had to move to the dining room to work last night and today.

Posted via email from JediWright’s Posterous

I must vent. Now.

DistinctiveFabric.com, Inc. is tanking (or so Josh and I think), but what the hell do we really know anyway? We’ve only been running this damned thing for four and half years now and barely with any involvement from its founder and our chairman, Adam. Guess this is what you get for putting a couple of first-timers in executive seats and a declining economy. Ironically enough, our sales have only been going up since last August, but our previous debt carried over, coupled with an inconsistent cash flow, just hasn’t weathered the dip in December as well as we’d hoped and planned for.

SolarHoster.com is failing before it even runs.

InfinityDrive.net is failing. Again.

GreenGurus.net…is all the above and more: I can’t even log on or into the damn site.

The baby is due any day now and we’re broke. Tristan wants to move back to Cali. I want to stay and I want to go. I wanted so much to birth Rivertribe finally.

Now all of my business ideas are crumbling. And I can’t get a job because either:

1. My credit is so bad they won’t hire me
1a. I’m overqualified on paper due to past employment
2. I never finished school and got a degree and the necessary experience
3. The economy sucks ass cause the rest of this country shares in some of my misery

I’ve lost hundreds of keyword domains I never should have bought in the first place.

I’m now thirty freaking years old and my life is miserable. Okay not really. I still fight and fight and fight for success. I have no idea of what drives me. I had hoped to figure that out with a whole lot more in life before having a child.

Now what? God only knows. Actually, I’m now giving serious thought to starting up a church. A fucking church. Jesus Christ. I must be insane.

Either through “Order of the Jedi” – I now own orderofthejedi.net and jedichurch.net
Or through “Moon Temple” – I now own moontemple.org and moonchurch.org

I’m fucking crazy. I’ve always known it. And I always see people thinking the same freaking thing, even if they deny it when asked.

Well, if I’m crazy I might as well build my own crazy house, heh?
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Update 1.15 10:50am: Feeling a might bit better now. Course, the wee hours of the night often leave me despairing more so than the light of day.

I’ve been trying to get my solar powered webhosting and green data storage services online for what seems an eternity now. Seems like every time I gain one step forward, another two set me back.

I’ve been working to varying degrees since this all began, with about six or so different sysadmins, making incremental changes to the solar server setup. To date, we’ve got our dedicated server account setup with AISO, our Plesk control panel installed, along with Plesk Billing, which we still need to figure out how to use; a secure certificate for InfinityDrive.net and a dedicated IP from AISO for it; and a few other random things, but still not enough to be up and running for business.

And it sucks: it really, really sucks. My business partner in this, Ryan Wartena, and I have been pumping money out collectively since March to get the account activated, the server setup and various related software licenses from Plesk (which is where they get you by the way).

Everyone we’re working with is great at what they do, but don’t share the vision that Ryan and I do. They just don’t seem to get it. Not enough to commit whatever they can to help bring this to life. And I just don’t have the time to learn everything I need to know to do it on my own: UNIX, PHP, etc.

It’s so damned frustrating, especially since after this upcoming monthly service charge will probably be the last we can afford. It has to happen now or it quite possibly won’t.

And all along, I have this growing sense that maybe it’s all just been a mistake from the beginning. It’s great to have a dream and even a potential great business idea, but if you can’t make it work, then it’s worth nothing. And that’s what I feel like it’s worth too often than not these days.

My biggest hang up with this is that I’m not the supreme sysadmin/programmer geek that I want and need to be. But everytime I sit down to try and learn some of the core skills I so desperately I start to feel the tears of frustration rise up at the seemingly unconquerable learning curve I face. Then all I can see is the money going out. And now someone else’s money. Someone that I feel like I’ve sucked in promising success, yet I know I made it clear that there was no guarantee. But I keep feeling guilty and around and around it goes.

It seems like I’m nothing but hype and everything I’ve ever preached is coming to a head with this. I hate being a goddamn Capricorn (and a double one at that). I hate being me. I am so sick of starting and stopping things. I just want to succeed with one goddamn thing for once in my life.

Fuck.

So I’m coming up on my 30th birthday in about 6 days, on December 29th. And it’s really hard to fathom in some ways.

On one hand, I feel much older than my 30 years of age, but in most cases, I feel much younger. I still feel like an older teenager or in my early twenties; I’ve felt like this probably since I was 22, I think. Now that my twenties are coming to a close, I’m forced to admit that this may be changing finally. My mind still feels that young in many respects, but physically, I have to admit I’m feeling my age. And I don’t like it.

I know of many shining examples in my west coast family (and some here back east) that have such a great mindset or something, keeping their youth, super active, super fun. I’m sure most of this all in our heads, but I haven’t found my own method of enacting this outlook yet.

I steadfastly refuse to go another year feeling this way though and will do whatever I have to to find and create my own methodology for eternal young-mindedness. Not only for my own sake/sanity/well-being but so too for my baby slated for arrival in under a month now.

I can’t imagine not being in the fittest shape of my life when he’s ready to play, I don’t want to disappoint and let him down in anyway…

Between my Saturn Return, my pending fatherhood and my big 3.0 coming down fast, it’s quite a bit to take in and process gleefully.