“…baby step onto the elevator… baby step into the elevator… I’m *in* the elevator.”
This year has been a bunch of baby steps, not only for Lee but for me too. Thankfully, that seems to be coming to an end. With the move back to LA coming up soon, things should ramp back up, personally and professionally.
I’m really looking forward to it.
It is with much anticipation and after much thought, discussion, consideration, review, soul-searching, deliberation, and so forth that I have decided to set my sights firmly on the move back to Los Angeles, CA.
After half a year in PA and half a year in Ohio, neither Tristan or I have been satisfied with each others hometowns. Granted, as many have said, we haven’t given it time. But why should we when we already know what LA is like and more importantly, that we BOTH like it? Granted we didn’t have Lee there when lived there last, but a number of our friends out there have been having kids, while still finding work and time to play; it can be done and it will only be that much better with Lee.
There’s so much more opportunity and competition there; people go after their dreams. In big ways. And that’s largely what we’re looking at. Lee is part of our dream. But we both have others and it seems best, on most counts, to realize them there.
Admittedly, it’s going to be tough for me personally, on some levels, to head west again. I’ve held on to some pretty old dreams in PA and with another move west (my 3rd), it will be just another step away from them. Especially difficult, will be leaving my blood family behind again. Now that I’ve crested 30-yrs of age, it’s become even more clear to me how little time we have with each other in one lifetime.
But, many new plans originated in LA though and revolve around it or the west coast in general (yes, the spirit of the west is still quite alive and well 
. Plus, with age comes an increasingly strong dislike for the cold and wet weather.
So in maybe another two weeks, maybe more, maybe less…we’ll be back in La La land. Stay tuned.
–
Update 1.6.10: We’re back in LA (have been for over 3-wks and it’s great!).
Yesterday I made a reservation with Penske for a 22′ truck, for yet another move to California.
This time however, it’s with the intention of staying in California permanently. After the move out to PA (my home state) with Tristan didn’t work out, and then our move here to Ohio (her home state) not working either, we’ve both decided Cali is our common ground. So we’re slated to pack things up again and make the trek later this year, probably in mid-November.
I’ve gotten approval for a transfer with my current employer to their Hollywood location, which we’ll be central to just about anywhere we could end up settling, while in Los Angeles. Ultimately, I think and hope, we’ll end up somewhere farther north. But initially, we’ll be in and around Hollywood, staying with Tristan’s sister Olivia (where our car registration is assigned to, incidentally and conveniently), with the majority of our belongings in storage around town at our various warehouse locations and/or storage units. We’re hoping to land a place on the west side for the bulk of our time in LA.
Other plans I intend to resume once back include:
I don’t regret the move out a year ago (nearly today in fact). It was great to revisit with some things from my past and though some of it was painful, most of it was for the best, giving me some helpful perspective. Now in theory, I should be able to move forward in Cali without any lingering doubts over living there.
p.s. 3rd time’s the charm, right? 
Today marks two weeks since our move here into Akron, Ohio. It’s a return for Tristan to her hometown and a departure from my own, in Pennsylvania. Neither of us are super thrilled about it; we both just really miss pre-parenthood right now and our lives in Cali.
Regardless, I see some potential here. Downtown Akron, though small, still has some measure of vibrancy to it.
The job search is proving the most frustrating so far though, out of anything. One month online and nearly two weeks in person should have returned at least a call or email, but I’ve gotten nothing (other than spam/scam email responses). As an entrepreneur, I see a lot of potential – I always do. But as an employee, I’m losing confidence. More than likely, I’m just getting impatient due to the stress of landing an income and admittedly, of going back to work as an employee, not the employer. Though in some ways, I’ve been craving this, since the stresses of self-employment and entrepreneurship have taken their toll on me over the last few years.
It would be nice to find something cool, engaging, challenging, and stable. And maybe on the side I’ll pursue some more modest startup ideas here, time and resources permitting.
On the homefront side of things, our house, known as “the Chitty farmhouse” is cool, though it does have a few issues (what house doesn’t?). We’re mostly settled in now, though short some bedroom storage since we have little closet space. Our cats are adjusting to our roommates cats nicely, as we ourselves work to adjust to living with roomies again. We have a separate studio/garage space that I look forward to modifying for my future office/studio use, once I’ve secured a job.
Other than that, things are pretty low-key. I’m enjoying the relatively quiet neighborhood, more reading and getting to know the area.
So, as our friends continue on with their rockstar lives in Cali, we struggle to shift our lives for the necessary stability of parenting, all the while wondering what is to become of our own lives.
Finding purpose outside of parenting is a must for our survival, I think.
These last few weeks have been some of the most intense I think I’ve yet experienced. Not like I haven’t been through some bad spells before or anything but this latest round has been really drilling and consistent.
From having had to freeze my DF salary, to filing for unemployment, to continuing to adjust to parenthood, to having to cut my health insurance out, then Tristan’s, to filing for medicaid for her and Lee (which still isn’t sorted out, so he’s still without coverage), to wrangling with two startups, to enrolling back into school (with ITT Tech for computer network systems) with full tuition covered but no way to start due to a complete lack of income.
In addition, I had some issues with communication between family and friends that added to everything else, really put me close a breaking point I’ve not recalled reaching before.
Thankfully, things started turning around a little this past weekend with the arrival of a reimbursement check from my canceled Blue Cross policy, confirmation on the start of my U.I. from California and most significantly, the long overdue activation of my solar web hosting service at SolarHoster.com. Granted, it’s still a far cry from what I envision it to be, but at least I can start hosting sites.
Meanwhile, Tristan and I have continued our discussions over what we’re doing concerning our living situation. She doesn’t want to stay here in PA and wants to move back to Ohio to have the support of her old friends and family there. Admittedly, it’s not a bad idea as it’s much cheaper there, she’ll be more grounded (in theory) with her friends, family and hometown, and we are exploring discussions of renting a house with her best girlfriend, Amanda.
We’ve submitted a rental app on one house so far and are waiting to hear back from the landlord. If that goes through, we’ll probably be moving around April 15th.
What this means for Rivertribe, my other startup exploration happening here in PA, is uncertain. Though it’s uncertain anyway as I’m having a hard time getting movement from my friend with the equipment that would allow startup of operations. This is actually kind of okay with me anyway, as I had only wanted to explore the possibility of starting Rivertribe up. Then I asked another friend to go in on it and things started getting out of control and I failed to manage things properly.
So as I should have learned from before, don’t do business with friends. Period. But if you insist on doing so, be very explicit about every little detail from the get go. Otherwise, things can get twisted fast. Which they have done to some degree in this instance, which is unfortunate, but not surprising considering where my life’s been these last few weeks.
Concerning startups and partners in general, I’d venture to say in some ways business mirrors people’s ways and gives greater clarity into the type of person you are. So maybe business together with friends is not such a bad thing, cause it helps cut away to the truth of things that you might not have otherwise seen before.
Anyway, my real priorities are certainly obvious now regardless having lost my salary. All else gets put on hold when you’ve got to find immediate income. It’s tough times to be job hunting though, especially when you don’t even own your own car and are sharing your partners. And more so in my case since I moved us to a rural setting without any public transit. Doh.
Thankfully, one of my LA contacts recently offered up a freelance gig with his company Ijhana. Hopefully things pan out, they’ve offered a few times before but nothing ever came of it. Hopefully now is the time. I/we can’t afford it to be otherwise.
–
Update: We’ve found a house and put a deposit down (thanks Amanda!) and we’ll be moving sometime after April 1st.
Baby’s coming any day now, Tristan is going insane with the wait and feels like it’ll never happen. I keep promising it’ll be over soon, but my words seem to be falling on deaf ears.
Nothing for it but to wait it out and do whatever I can to keep her occupied until then.
Tough timing though trying a new job, prep for the cross-country move back again, and a slew of other equally complicated details. But I’m confident everything will work. I always work things out with half or less the trouble perceived from the start.
Now if only she could share in my optimism…