JediWright.com

I haven’t done a list in I don’t know how long, so here’s one for 2009, recognizing my top ten, notable events:

• I got to see a woman/my partner/Tristan give birth to our first child and son Lee, born (1.24.09)
• I completed yet another phase of build-out at the first house I’ve helped build from scratch
• I got to see Lamb play live
• My immediate family got together, including my sister and bro-in-law from Spain (who got to meet Lee); last time was some years ago
• Made my first trip to Ireland
• Flew solo with Lee back to PA for a quick family visit
• Moved back to Los Angeles, California
• Helped navigate my Internet fabric company through treacherous economic waters, coming out ahead, out of debt and on track for renewed profitability
• Lee: rolled over, crawled, stood up, took his first steps, started “talking”, along with a multitude of other firsts
• Discovered some interesting truths about myself through some very heavy introspection

It is with much anticipation and after much thought, discussion, consideration, review, soul-searching, deliberation, and so forth that I have decided to set my sights firmly on the move back to Los Angeles, CA.

After half a year in PA and half a year in Ohio, neither Tristan or I have been satisfied with each others hometowns. Granted, as many have said, we haven’t given it time. But why should we when we already know what LA is like and more importantly, that we BOTH like it? Granted we didn’t have Lee there when lived there last, but a number of our friends out there have been having kids, while still finding work and time to play; it can be done and it will only be that much better with Lee.

There’s so much more opportunity and competition there; people go after their dreams. In big ways. And that’s largely what we’re looking at. Lee is part of our dream. But we both have others and it seems best, on most counts, to realize them there.

Admittedly, it’s going to be tough for me personally, on some levels, to head west again. I’ve held on to some pretty old dreams in PA and with another move west (my 3rd), it will be just another step away from them. Especially difficult, will be leaving my blood family behind again. Now that I’ve crested 30-yrs of age, it’s become even more clear to me how little time we have with each other in one lifetime.

But, many new plans originated in LA though and revolve around it or the west coast in general (yes, the spirit of the west is still quite alive and well . Plus, with age comes an increasingly strong dislike for the cold and wet weather.

So in maybe another two weeks, maybe more, maybe less…we’ll be back in La La land. Stay tuned.
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Update 1.6.10: We’re back in LA (have been for over 3-wks and it’s great!).

I’ve been looking for a job now for over a few months (actually I’m always looking, but I’ve been scouring the ads intensively since we moved to PA and even more so for the last month when it became clear we needed to move) and have gotten zip-zero-zilch in the way of response from any of my resumes, submitted or posted online or otherwise.

I’m so fed up with my failure rate at finding conventional work and the criticisms from family. It’s no wonder all I’m getting is shit from them and apparently Tristan’s too, about how my priorities are wrong and so and so forth – I’m dead in the water when it comes to entering the conventional workforce.

Though in my defense, I have been taking as many hours as are available, while here in PA with an old boss doing some carpentry. And I’ve had to continue working for DistinctiveFabric.com for the last month unpaid, since my salary was frozen. As CEO and co-owner, I have a lot of responsibility that I can’t just write off, so a good deal of my time is taken up each week dealing with things there. And I had started a company last year with a friend who’s been investing since August or so, so I can’t just walk away from that. I have my obligations to him to see things through there with that. Also, I HAVE A BABY for the first time and a partner who’s struggling with post-partum depression on top of a previous depression (due to me moving us here). And oh yeah, I have no car of my own. That’s the real decision-maker there: no wheels = no job commuting (I borrow my old boss’s truck when working for him).

I’ve known I don’t fit the conventional mode for most of my life. And besides school, I’ve noticed it most acutely while in the general workplace. That’s why I’ve always found myself always pursuing some startup idea or another, cause I know the only way I’m ever going to make real money (short of moving back to LA and working for The Do LaB indefinitely) is to create my own company.

I’ve lost track of how many resumes I’ve put out over the last month. I’ve had an offer from The Do LaB though to go work Coachella again with more paid to me in a day rate than I’d make in nearly a week at any other job. But Tristan sees it as the wrong course, stating that it doesn’t make any sense and I need to focus on finding stable income once we move to Akron (in less than two weeks now). I don’t completely agree: it’s a great paying gig, they’d cover my expense (including travel) and as a plus, I’d get out to check in on DistinctiveFabric.com after having been gone for six months. On the other hand, the time spent in Cali would require some expense while there, so I’d probably lose about a 1/5th of my pay to that.

I’ve never totally bought into a conventional path to anything and I guess it really shows at this point in my life. It’s almost as if employers and family latch on to that immediately and steer clear (or cast harsh judgement on me for leading a different life).

The only route I see offering any sort of solution here is joining the military (okay yes that’s drastic but I’m venting here , cause I sure as hell don’t wait tables. I tried once and it was a complete nightmare. But if I’m down to minimum wage jobs or the military, maybe a move back to LA is the best choice. I’ll have to see how things go with the in-person job hunt first before turning everything upside down considering another move to LA.

These last few weeks have been some of the most intense I think I’ve yet experienced. Not like I haven’t been through some bad spells before or anything but this latest round has been really drilling and consistent.

From having had to freeze my DF salary, to filing for unemployment, to continuing to adjust to parenthood, to having to cut my health insurance out, then Tristan’s, to filing for medicaid for her and Lee (which still isn’t sorted out, so he’s still without coverage), to wrangling with two startups, to enrolling back into school (with ITT Tech for computer network systems) with full tuition covered but no way to start due to a complete lack of income.

In addition, I had some issues with communication between family and friends that added to everything else, really put me close a breaking point I’ve not recalled reaching before.

Thankfully, things started turning around a little this past weekend with the arrival of a reimbursement check from my canceled Blue Cross policy, confirmation on the start of my U.I. from California and most significantly, the long overdue activation of my solar web hosting service at SolarHoster.com. Granted, it’s still a far cry from what I envision it to be, but at least I can start hosting sites.

Meanwhile, Tristan and I have continued our discussions over what we’re doing concerning our living situation. She doesn’t want to stay here in PA and wants to move back to Ohio to have the support of her old friends and family there. Admittedly, it’s not a bad idea as it’s much cheaper there, she’ll be more grounded (in theory) with her friends, family and hometown, and we are exploring discussions of renting a house with her best girlfriend, Amanda.

We’ve submitted a rental app on one house so far and are waiting to hear back from the landlord. If that goes through, we’ll probably be moving around April 15th.

What this means for Rivertribe, my other startup exploration happening here in PA, is uncertain. Though it’s uncertain anyway as I’m having a hard time getting movement from my friend with the equipment that would allow startup of operations. This is actually kind of okay with me anyway, as I had only wanted to explore the possibility of starting Rivertribe up. Then I asked another friend to go in on it and things started getting out of control and I failed to manage things properly.

So as I should have learned from before, don’t do business with friends. Period. But if you insist on doing so, be very explicit about every little detail from the get go. Otherwise, things can get twisted fast. Which they have done to some degree in this instance, which is unfortunate, but not surprising considering where my life’s been these last few weeks.

Concerning startups and partners in general, I’d venture to say in some ways business mirrors people’s ways and gives greater clarity into the type of person you are. So maybe business together with friends is not such a bad thing, cause it helps cut away to the truth of things that you might not have otherwise seen before.

Anyway, my real priorities are certainly obvious now regardless having lost my salary. All else gets put on hold when you’ve got to find immediate income. It’s tough times to be job hunting though, especially when you don’t even own your own car and are sharing your partners. And more so in my case since I moved us to a rural setting without any public transit. Doh.

Thankfully, one of my LA contacts recently offered up a freelance gig with his company Ijhana. Hopefully things pan out, they’ve offered a few times before but nothing ever came of it. Hopefully now is the time. I/we can’t afford it to be otherwise.
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Update: We’ve found a house and put a deposit down (thanks Amanda!) and we’ll be moving sometime after April 1st.

Children surely have been born designed with multiple survival mechanisms, though many pale in comparison to what know and are used to from most creatures in the animal kingdom.

Lee is no exception and as his father and a new parent, it’s pretty powerful to watch and experience the reactions to his mechanisms.

Top three survival instincts noted to date:

1. Cuteness!

Babies are generally cute and again, Lee is no exception. He gets so much attention, both from family and complete strangers. Something so adorable is just hard to ignore or refuse lavishing one’s attention on.

2. Crying

Ugh. Probably his most powerful instinct and mechanism is ironically, his most vulnerable, at least it would be if he wasn’t of the modern home sapien erectus clan. His cries are so gut wrenching, at least as a parent, especially within the first weeks of birth, that your own senses go on hyper vigilance. If they were the cries of any other adults kids, it might be different, and most times it is just plain irritating.

3. Limb Movement

Babies have little to no great control over their limb movements at first. And some like Lee, can be excessive and violent in their motions. And while his or any other baby’s range of motion and motor control is far from a great defense, it still could do some good since their motions are quick, unpredictable (well okay, not completely unpredictable), and seemingly violent.

Of course, all this motion day-to-day is just he or she developing their motor control, but there are times when it seems to more defensive or reactionary to something they don’t like or startles them.

Regardless of what is and isn’t a survival instinct, he remains super cute.

Tristan and I are out for our 1st wknd outing today w/Lee. I picked up his 1st Curious George’s book and tried out one of the baby slings.

We’re still definitely adjusting to parenthood and won’t be out much longer.

For some reason my Posterous posts aren’t coming through with pics here. So I’ve edited the post to include them here now. And oh how cute they are!