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I find it hard to believe we’re in a recession, maybe a slower economy (or failed) in some market segments, but not as a whole.

My fabric company had three really great months in August, September and October. So great in fact, that October was one of our best months ever; and we’re on track for an even better month now in November. Fabric has always been one of the first luxury items (and even necessities for some) to go, at least from what I’ve seen in the last 4.5 years of fabric sales. But there is also a chance that the economic slow-down has in fact, aided in our efforts at success.

In theory, it seems sound. If people are actually looking for creative solutions to fulfill their bare necessities’ needs by producing their own garments, then sure it makes sense. But I don’t have that much faith in the average American at this point to fend for themselves. In actuality, I think the majority will only further the demand for cheaper goods, through increased discount store shopping and the like.

If however, greater and greater numbers of folks turn to producing their own goods, then I can only see brighter days for this small business and an even greater boon to its service industry (Internet fabric sales).

But then again, this could just be another random, fluke sales climate. I just pray if it ends, it ends with a bang to carry us through any truly tough times.

I’m so incredibly disappointed with the way things have gone at my first company.

I was so inspired and thankful when its founder asked me to come on board nearly 4.5 years ago now. I was really struggling in Los Angeles at the time, couch surfing at the old Do LaB loft downtown on Olympic boulevard for the summer while hunting for work and a new home.

As luck would have it my friend had just started this internet fabric store and quickly found need of another set of hands to keep up with its pace of orders. I quickly assumed greater and greater responsibility and then became partner, operating as chief operating officer for a year or so. After the company had made several moves and substantial growth, I assumed greater responsibility as chief executive officer. And while serving as CEO was great for a time, it didn’t last long, nor did its respectable income.

After a year and a half, my pay had grown outdated as we had securely transitioned out of startup mode to focusing on our core competencies in a stage dubbed “Operation Cruise Control”, so had my daily tasks. Since this was my first startup and business, it took some major effort to switch gears personally, especially since we still had (and still do) have so much potential for growth. But my stake in the company was too limiting to say otherwise and so stricken of my joy of growing the company, my best pay ever and more, I tried to fit in and do as told, but having worked nearly independent for almost a years time and as a CEO (incidentally, a role I thought prematurely assigned) with a decent startup salary (from what I knew of those things then), it really grated on my nerves and natural instincts.

Not only that, but around this time we had brought in a third partner, who assumed my role as operating officer; so now there were three trying to man the helm. This proved to be both a blessing and a curse. In some ways I needed a 2nd mate to bounce things off of, since the founder had made it clear from even earlier on that he would be very much removed from daily operations (oversight was something that’s always lacked there). But in others, it could often be counter-productive.

So about eight months into this, I decided I’d had enough of the daily grind and moved to Santa Cruz to try and start up another company with another friend. In some ways it was a great relief from what had been and an exciting time to look forward at what could be, but alas, this venture wasn’t meant to be with this friend. After six months of trying to mesh our strengths and weaknesses and even less pay (zero from the new startup), I decided to bag it and head back to LA to clear my palette and figure out what was next.

I knew one of the biggest obstacles for me was never having completed college, so I enrolled full-time at SMC to try and get past my inexperience in programming to pursue my own Internet startups. I lasted one semester before getting pulled into someone else’s startup, again. This time, it was a full-on return as a lead production artist with The Do LaB guys. I worked my ass off for the majority of 2008 with them, traveling from gig to gig and country to country, crafting my event production skills further but still yearning for my own true baby of a startup.

And throughout these recent years of exploration and development, I’ve continued my role as CEO at DF to varying degrees, but never again with the sense of purpose and power I had previously. Far from power hungry am I, moreover is the desire for the freedom and responsibility that this role entails. And since now it’s only really in name that I serve as such with this first company, I find myself despairing again over the lack of quality, dedication, accountability, responsibility, and commitment that this company represents.

It’s really quite embarrassing and depressing to have my name attached to it but I have no choice until one of my own startups or my next round of schooling provides a financial out.

I’m overly hopeful but not disillusioned at my chances of success, but I’m going to keep trying, again and again and as long as it takes until I’ve found my freedom to exit (or buy-out everyone else and do as I please ).

Lately I’ve been consciously observing my behavior, especially with regards to its closely linked relationship to entrepreneurialship, more specifically, to my businesses: DistinctiveFabric.com, GreenGurus.net and the Great Pacific Garbage Patch (others in the works too).

Not only is my behavior effected by moods as a Capricorn, but also by the ebb and flow of business within my companies.

I have been working more recently to regain my center as business can really monopolize one’s energies, if you let them. While administering some comments I was especially struck by this with one of my more recent posts, which came about after an intense bout of the flu and the collapse of my fabric company’s sale (quite the ups and downs with that in itself).

Now all this past week I’ve been kicking ass and making S**T happen. It’s interesting to note that when you’re on an up-swing, you’re really working in harmony, your chi/ki is rushing through you, demanding release. Hours will slip by as you work tirelessly, without food and little to no breaks.

Then all of the sudden you crash, realizing your last meal was like 6, 7 or more hours ago. So when you finally get to eating, you devour it like you’ve been starved a week in the desert. All the while (eating) you tell yourself: “Gotta’ take better care of myself, from now on…”. I’m sure you know this story well or will soon, if you’re just now exploring this kind of focus in your work.

Anyway, just thinking about how it’s nice to find that middle ground, that one-point…once you do life is just beautiful again.

From my Green Gurus consulting company’s blog today:
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Green Gurus is on the prowl for some new tech-driven team members.

Our team is comprised of a wide-range of talents from sustainable energy systems designers, feature film miniature and mechanical engineers, sustainable architects, Second Life programmers, and a host of other skills. Our projects range from multi-thousand person events, to on-air consulting, to feature films, to eCommerce, to manufacturing, and much, much more.

We’re well connected and very active in the Los Angeles underground modern tribal scene (cliche yes, but it fits the part), utilizing a vast range of science, technologies and metaphysics.

Here are our current task priorities:

1. Our site: GreenGurus.net

We’ve got to nail down a site design fitting of our name and team’s skills. We’ll have a much better conversion rate in closing new clients if we get this locked down.

2. Our keyword domains

We’ve got around 500 domains, most of them green-themed: We’re looking into monetizing a bunch, selling some and building out others.

3. Green eCommerce platform

One of our other companies, Distinctivefabric.com has an extensive, proprietary code base that we’re looking to overhaul into a green eCommerce platform and then license and/or sell.

4. Solar powered web hosting

We’re working towards our own solar powered data center chain, but until we’ve raised the money to put that together, we’ll be running on a dedicated server through AISO.net, configuration with them happening right now, should be up and running within the next week.

If any of these projects appeal to you and you think you’d like to explore a potential partnership with us to help manifest any of these items, then please let us know. We’re only able to pay through profit-sharing, performance-based pay and/or sweat equity right now. Assuming we get our site up to snuff, we can really start creating some exciting and meaningful compensation opportunities.

We continue to receive steadily increasing inquiries, have got some great natural page ranking on Google, especially under “green consulting” search terms, our team member’s individual projects and companies continue to complement our own here, and much more.

You are adept in any of these programs/languages/CMS:

PHP, MySQL, Python, Perl, Ruby, RoR, Ajax, Java/JavaScript, XML/XHTML, Drupal/Joomla/etc., WordPress (including installs), Apache/Debian, Photoshop/The Gimp, Illustrator, Quark, InDesign, AutoCad, Maya, Flash, ActionScripting, API interfacing, version control systems, Unix, ProTools, Logic, Ableton Live, and any other language or science you’re competent with in producing results.

You have experience from school and/or on-the-job training, can provide live and close to or fully completed projects online, have a working/proficient understanding of iterative, agile and atomic coding techniques/philosophies, and are otherwise a bad-ass online.

Preferably: you work in open source, off a Mac or Linux box, but have some working understanding of PC to get around should the need arise; live within the US, ideally w/in CA > Los Angeles…if not, possibilities still exist. Telecommunicating okay.

Please submit any relative content, links, resumes, or other media format…just be creative, inventive, entrepreneurial, and socially/eco-conscious in your approach to contacting us.

As December comes to a close, my first internet venture wraps up its fourth year in business and prepares to enter its fifth.

Wow. Let me just say that again, so it starts to actually sink in…our fifth year.

It’s been a great couple of years getting our operations together and have only begun easing off from startup mode over the course of this year. Some of its customers might have noticed in this time, that our fabric selection has been trimmed back a bit and that the rate of new fabric additions to the site have slowed down too.

Well, rest assured that this isn’t permanent but just a time of reflection that we’ve taken to better assess the health and direction of our company, where it stands, who its core customers are, and much more. It’s been an interesting year as we’ve come to realize just how integrated our company and its website into the world of internet fabric sales, DIY-ers, Mom-and-Pop shops, designers, and many others. We’ve got a great core customer base which certainly shows in our day-to-day sales.

One of the great things about running an internet-based store, rather than retail, is the flexibility it offers the company in its operations. Early on in our operation, we experimented with a number of different methods for nearly every aspect of our operation. But at least one area that’s remained consistent is our commitment to serving our customers, as best we can. We totally pride ourselves on this and think it’s one of the qualities that keeps so many of them coming back, so regularly and consistently.

Regardless of anyone’s reasons to continue shopping there with us, it’s been a real pleasure to continue serving them all and I know I look forward to the years to come as we continue to explore new avenues for growth and fulfillment of their fabric needs.

Last Friday evening around 7pm I took off from my warehouse in Downtown, Los Angeles and headed back to Mid-City for the MINC elections, stopping on the way at the Sugar Shack, to coordinate transpo with some of my roomies and Tristan. Together with her, Susan, “Florida” Dave, and Robb, we made our way over to vote for both Susan and I in the Mid-City Neighborhood Council.

Then it was back to Sugar for dinner, drinks and discussion for a bit followed by a few hours at Das Bunker, which we were fortunate to have within mere blocks from our location. I met an old friend there Steven Dalton, who was actually first responsible for showing me the place, Tristan met one of her co-workers from Trashy, and together we all danced: