JediWright.com

I’ve been looking for a job now for over a few months (actually I’m always looking, but I’ve been scouring the ads intensively since we moved to PA and even more so for the last month when it became clear we needed to move) and have gotten zip-zero-zilch in the way of response from any of my resumes, submitted or posted online or otherwise.

I’m so fed up with my failure rate at finding conventional work and the criticisms from family. It’s no wonder all I’m getting is shit from them and apparently Tristan’s too, about how my priorities are wrong and so and so forth – I’m dead in the water when it comes to entering the conventional workforce.

Though in my defense, I have been taking as many hours as are available, while here in PA with an old boss doing some carpentry. And I’ve had to continue working for DistinctiveFabric.com for the last month unpaid, since my salary was frozen. As CEO and co-owner, I have a lot of responsibility that I can’t just write off, so a good deal of my time is taken up each week dealing with things there. And I had started a company last year with a friend who’s been investing since August or so, so I can’t just walk away from that. I have my obligations to him to see things through there with that. Also, I HAVE A BABY for the first time and a partner who’s struggling with post-partum depression on top of a previous depression (due to me moving us here). And oh yeah, I have no car of my own. That’s the real decision-maker there: no wheels = no job commuting (I borrow my old boss’s truck when working for him).

I’ve known I don’t fit the conventional mode for most of my life. And besides school, I’ve noticed it most acutely while in the general workplace. That’s why I’ve always found myself always pursuing some startup idea or another, cause I know the only way I’m ever going to make real money (short of moving back to LA and working for The Do LaB indefinitely) is to create my own company.

I’ve lost track of how many resumes I’ve put out over the last month. I’ve had an offer from The Do LaB though to go work Coachella again with more paid to me in a day rate than I’d make in nearly a week at any other job. But Tristan sees it as the wrong course, stating that it doesn’t make any sense and I need to focus on finding stable income once we move to Akron (in less than two weeks now). I don’t completely agree: it’s a great paying gig, they’d cover my expense (including travel) and as a plus, I’d get out to check in on DistinctiveFabric.com after having been gone for six months. On the other hand, the time spent in Cali would require some expense while there, so I’d probably lose about a 1/5th of my pay to that.

I’ve never totally bought into a conventional path to anything and I guess it really shows at this point in my life. It’s almost as if employers and family latch on to that immediately and steer clear (or cast harsh judgement on me for leading a different life).

The only route I see offering any sort of solution here is joining the military (okay yes that’s drastic but I’m venting here , cause I sure as hell don’t wait tables. I tried once and it was a complete nightmare. But if I’m down to minimum wage jobs or the military, maybe a move back to LA is the best choice. I’ll have to see how things go with the in-person job hunt first before turning everything upside down considering another move to LA.

2009, business, craiglist, daily log, employer, employment, family, startups 2009, business, craigslist, distinctivefabric.com, employers, employment, entrepreneurs, family, jobs, startups, the do lab, work

Today I took another much needed break from office/computer work to work up the street at the River.

Yesterday I returned to work on one of the many ongoing projects there, picking up this time from where I’d left off before Lee was born in January: the floor installation. So yesterday I hand-carried a truck full of white pine tonge-and-groove flooring half an acre or so to the job site, since I couldn’t drive on the wet, soft ground. I got the job site prepped for installation, my workstation organized and installed my first few pieces, then called it a day. It was a short day at only three hours, but a very busy one.

Today I got in a decent amount of work in only five hours, installing up to nearly 3/4 quarters of the flooring. I also helped Tim install the main, front window, which was really nice as it really brightens the room and makes working amidst stone and block that much better.

Tomorrow, time permitting, I’ll be back to finish the flooring installation. Then it’s on to finishing the window and door installations, the ceiling, the interior wall, wiring, heating, and some other odds and ends.

2009, building, carpentry, construction, daily log, green building, lee, outdoors, the river, work 2009, building, carpentry, construction, daily log, green building, lee, outdoors, the river, work

These last few weeks have been some of the most intense I think I’ve yet experienced. Not like I haven’t been through some bad spells before or anything but this latest round has been really drilling and consistent.

From having had to freeze my DF salary, to filing for unemployment, to continuing to adjust to parenthood, to having to cut my health insurance out, then Tristan’s, to filing for medicaid for her and Lee (which still isn’t sorted out, so he’s still without coverage), to wrangling with two startups, to enrolling back into school (with ITT Tech for computer network systems) with full tuition covered but no way to start due to a complete lack of income.

In addition, I had some issues with communication between family and friends that added to everything else, really put me close a breaking point I’ve not recalled reaching before.

Thankfully, things started turning around a little this past weekend with the arrival of a reimbursement check from my canceled Blue Cross policy, confirmation on the start of my U.I. from California and most significantly, the long overdue activation of my solar web hosting service at SolarHoster.com. Granted, it’s still a far cry from what I envision it to be, but at least I can start hosting sites.

Meanwhile, Tristan and I have continued our discussions over what we’re doing concerning our living situation. She doesn’t want to stay here in PA and wants to move back to Ohio to have the support of her old friends and family there. Admittedly, it’s not a bad idea as it’s much cheaper there, she’ll be more grounded (in theory) with her friends, family and hometown, and we are exploring discussions of renting a house with her best girlfriend, Amanda.

We’ve submitted a rental app on one house so far and are waiting to hear back from the landlord. If that goes through, we’ll probably be moving around April 15th.

What this means for Rivertribe, my other startup exploration happening here in PA, is uncertain. Though it’s uncertain anyway as I’m having a hard time getting movement from my friend with the equipment that would allow startup of operations. This is actually kind of okay with me anyway, as I had only wanted to explore the possibility of starting Rivertribe up. Then I asked another friend to go in on it and things started getting out of control and I failed to manage things properly.

So as I should have learned from before, don’t do business with friends. Period. But if you insist on doing so, be very explicit about every little detail from the get go. Otherwise, things can get twisted fast. Which they have done to some degree in this instance, which is unfortunate, but not surprising considering where my life’s been these last few weeks.

Concerning startups and partners in general, I’d venture to say in some ways business mirrors people’s ways and gives greater clarity into the type of person you are. So maybe business together with friends is not such a bad thing, cause it helps cut away to the truth of things that you might not have otherwise seen before.

Anyway, my real priorities are certainly obvious now regardless having lost my salary. All else gets put on hold when you’ve got to find immediate income. It’s tough times to be job hunting though, especially when you don’t even own your own car and are sharing your partners. And more so in my case since I moved us to a rural setting without any public transit. Doh.

Thankfully, one of my LA contacts recently offered up a freelance gig with his company Ijhana. Hopefully things pan out, they’ve offered a few times before but nothing ever came of it. Hopefully now is the time. I/we can’t afford it to be otherwise.
–
Update: We’ve found a house and put a deposit down (thanks Amanda!) and we’ll be moving sometime after April 1st.

2009, business, communication, daily log, design, distinctivefabric.com, employment, family, fatherhood, friends, hosting, lee, moving, relationships, rivertribe, school, solar hoster, startups, survival, tristan 2009, business, communication, daily log, employment, family, fatherhood, friends, lee, moving, relationships, rivertribe, school, solar, solar hosting, solarhoster.com, startups, survivial, tristan, work

While seemingly inevitable, it still sucks to face the facts and have to lay yourself off from your own company.

This is exactly what I’ve had to do this week to keep operations going at Distinctivefabric.com. So I’ve filed unemployment in California, though with their budget issues, my chances of getting unemployment income looks bleak.

Here’s what my resume looks like on the CalJOBS board:

My CalJOBS resume

And on the job hunt front, my options there seem equally dispairing as:

1. I don’t have my own vehicle and since I live in the rural country, public transit is not an option.
2. I have horrible credit and many low-end paying jobs (which are really probably my only option) do credit checks. I know because I’ve been refused a job countless times due to this issue.
3. The economy. Duh.

Oh what a great time to begin fatherhood. Moving here was one of my life’s biggest mistakes yet. A rebound from this would be a miracle.

2009, daily log, distinctivefabric.com, startups, work 2009, business, caljobs, daily log, debt, distinctivefabric.com, startups, unemployment, work

With the baby’s arrival, there hasn’t been much thought for anything quicker than some quick uploads from my phone, mostly of baby of course.

I hope to be back to my daily posting soon though.

2009, baby, blogging, blogs, daily log 2009, baby, blogging, blogs, daily log

I’m going to try and capitalize on what I forsee as going be a popular interest in the new Sectéra® Edge™ phone that President Obama has negotiated use of, through a sales site at PresidentialPhone.com.

So instead of posting much here lately (as in the last 24-hrs or so), I’m working on this endeavor. It is definitely a get-rich kind of scheme. Hands down, no question about it.

Here goes nothing.

p.s. Yesterday’s comments didn’t fall on deaf ears, but moving cross-country twice in under six months and raising a baby is expensive, not to mention all the biz plans I have that require vast sums of money, that I just simply don’t have.

2009, business, communication, daily log, politics, startups 2009, business, communciation, daily log, money, phones, politics, president, startups

Several of my recent posts took a downward, perhaps defeatist attitude of sorts. A number of readers felt the need to email directly to share their insights, experience and concern over me/them. So I just want to make it clear that I’m fine.

Things can get intense, as we all know, and recently has been no exception for me.

As a hardcore Capricorn, I come down uber hard on myself. A lot. That’s just how it is. I’m a perfectionist. And quite an impatient one at that, when it comes to certain things. Mostly with regards to my career as so many around me continue to succeed at any number of things.

I have yet to meet any real substantial success in life and it’s just driving me nuts. This is just one of my challenges in life: to be happy where I’m at.

Anyway, thanks for everyone’s support; it is appreciated.

2009, astrology, business, capricorn, daily log, friends 2009, astrology, business, capricorn, daily log, friends, success, venting

Today I submitted my resume, along with my LinkedIn profile, to Twitter for their Founder Associate position.

I asked Alissa, an old west coast friend, what she thought of this and she graciously offered to put in a good word for me.

I’ve had minimal luck getting jobs I’ve gone after previously, so it’ll be interesting to see what kind of feedback, if any, I get on this.
–
Update 1.22 9:07am EST:
I’m questioning the appropriateness of this post right now…I’m so used to posting on just about anything I do, it’s become so ingrained that it was an automatic reflex to do the same with this post. Hopefully I’m not committing any sort of faux pas by doing so.)

2009, daily log, employment, linkedin, social media, twitter, work 2009, daily log, employment, linkedin, social media, twitter, work

Baby’s coming any day now, Tristan is going insane with the wait and feels like it’ll never happen. I keep promising it’ll be over soon, but my words seem to be falling on deaf ears.

Nothing for it but to wait it out and do whatever I can to keep her occupied until then.

Tough timing though trying a new job, prep for the cross-country move back again, and a slew of other equally complicated details. But I’m confident everything will work. I always work things out with half or less the trouble perceived from the start.

Now if only she could share in my optimism…

2009, baby, daily log, employment, moving, tristan, work 2009, baby, cali, daily log, employment, moving, tristan, work

Tristan and I made our monthly run to Pottstown Recycling Services today.
 
We typically end up recycling an average of 90% of our waste each month. I’m still working on a better storage system for everything, right now we just cram everything into brown paper grocery bags, then sort it by number and material type. Once on site it takes about an hour to process, as we have to sort it all into the appropriate containers ourselves.
 
It’s quite an educational experience and even more detailed than any other sorting I’ve done previously.
 
I would love to see a national network of these facilities some day and have a few thoughts on how such a system can be implemented.
 
In the meantime, I’m happy to be recycling as extensively as we have been.

See and download the full gallery on posterous

Posted via email from JediWright’s Posterous

2009, daily log, green, recycling, sustainability, tristan 2009, green, recycling, recycling centers, sustainability, trash, tristan

I must vent. Now.

DistinctiveFabric.com, Inc. is tanking (or so Josh and I think), but what the hell do we really know anyway? We’ve only been running this damned thing for four and half years now and barely with any involvement from its founder and our chairman, Adam. Guess this is what you get for putting a couple of first-timers in executive seats and a declining economy. Ironically enough, our sales have only been going up since last August, but our previous debt carried over, coupled with an inconsistent cash flow, just hasn’t weathered the dip in December as well as we’d hoped and planned for.

SolarHoster.com is failing before it even runs.

InfinityDrive.net is failing. Again.

GreenGurus.net…is all the above and more: I can’t even log on or into the damn site.

The baby is due any day now and we’re broke. Tristan wants to move back to Cali. I want to stay and I want to go. I wanted so much to birth Rivertribe finally.

Now all of my business ideas are crumbling. And I can’t get a job because either:

1. My credit is so bad they won’t hire me
1a. I’m overqualified on paper due to past employment
2. I never finished school and got a degree and the necessary experience
3. The economy sucks ass cause the rest of this country shares in some of my misery

I’ve lost hundreds of keyword domains I never should have bought in the first place.

I’m now thirty freaking years old and my life is miserable. Okay not really. I still fight and fight and fight for success. I have no idea of what drives me. I had hoped to figure that out with a whole lot more in life before having a child.

Now what? God only knows. Actually, I’m now giving serious thought to starting up a church. A fucking church. Jesus Christ. I must be insane.

Either through “Order of the Jedi” – I now own orderofthejedi.net and jedichurch.net
Or through “Moon Temple” – I now own moontemple.org and moonchurch.org

I’m fucking crazy. I’ve always known it. And I always see people thinking the same freaking thing, even if they deny it when asked.

Well, if I’m crazy I might as well build my own crazy house, heh?
–
Update 1.15 10:50am: Feeling a might bit better now. Course, the wee hours of the night often leave me despairing more so than the light of day.

2009, 30th, age, baby, business, daily log, employer, green gurus, hosting, infinity drive, past present future, pregnancy, religion, rivertribe, solar hoster, startups, the river, tristan, work 2009, baby, business, church, daily log, distinctivefabric.com, full moon, green gurus, health, infinity drive, insanity, insurance, jedi, keyword domains, moon, moon temple, order of the jedi, past present future, religion, rivertribe, solar hoster, startups, tristan, venting, worship

I’ve been trying to get my solar powered webhosting and green data storage services online for what seems an eternity now. Seems like every time I gain one step forward, another two set me back.

I’ve been working to varying degrees since this all began, with about six or so different sysadmins, making incremental changes to the solar server setup. To date, we’ve got our dedicated server account setup with AISO, our Plesk control panel installed, along with Plesk Billing, which we still need to figure out how to use; a secure certificate for InfinityDrive.net and a dedicated IP from AISO for it; and a few other random things, but still not enough to be up and running for business.

And it sucks: it really, really sucks. My business partner in this, Ryan Wartena, and I have been pumping money out collectively since March to get the account activated, the server setup and various related software licenses from Plesk (which is where they get you by the way).

Everyone we’re working with is great at what they do, but don’t share the vision that Ryan and I do. They just don’t seem to get it. Not enough to commit whatever they can to help bring this to life. And I just don’t have the time to learn everything I need to know to do it on my own: UNIX, PHP, etc.

It’s so damned frustrating, especially since after this upcoming monthly service charge will probably be the last we can afford. It has to happen now or it quite possibly won’t.

And all along, I have this growing sense that maybe it’s all just been a mistake from the beginning. It’s great to have a dream and even a potential great business idea, but if you can’t make it work, then it’s worth nothing. And that’s what I feel like it’s worth too often than not these days.

My biggest hang up with this is that I’m not the supreme sysadmin/programmer geek that I want and need to be. But everytime I sit down to try and learn some of the core skills I so desperately I start to feel the tears of frustration rise up at the seemingly unconquerable learning curve I face. Then all I can see is the money going out. And now someone else’s money. Someone that I feel like I’ve sucked in promising success, yet I know I made it clear that there was no guarantee. But I keep feeling guilty and around and around it goes.

It seems like I’m nothing but hype and everything I’ve ever preached is coming to a head with this. I hate being a goddamn Capricorn (and a double one at that). I hate being me. I am so sick of starting and stopping things. I just want to succeed with one goddamn thing for once in my life.

Fuck.

2009, aiso, business, daily log, startups 2009, aiso, business, control panels, daily log, data centers, green data centers, green data storage, green gurus, infinity drive, languages, plesk, plesk billing, programmers, solar hoster, solar hosting, solar server, startups, sysadmins, unix, web billing

Well Tristan is definitely in the homestretch now up to the baby’s delivery, with an expected due date of January 22nd, leaving just two weeks and two days.

Interestingly, many babies are due on or around full or new moons. Interesting because her birthday is January 11th and the next full moon is January 10th, at 10:27pm, to be exact.

We just received our first diaper bag today as a gift from her sister Olivia; it’ll be packed tomorrow, along with Tristan’s overnight bag. Now we’re just waiting on the changing table, which we’ll help allow us to get some of the baby’s stuff organized.

Who knew someone who doesn’t even exist on its own needed so much stuff? It’s freaking crazy.

Anyway, the baby’s getting really, really active and driving Tristan nuts with his rapid, apparent chaotic movements. She’s even been starting to time her Braxton Hicks contractions pain. That and the fact that she’s been instructed to “get semen in there no matter how you do it”, to orgasm, and to start using evening primrose oil – all to weaken things up for the big show.

We’ve also discussed how our two cats, Storm and Luna, will behave once the baby’s here. We got rid of Elvis last week in preparation for his arrival but we’re not getting rid of the cats. Luna especially has Tristan concerned, as she’s very territorial, particular and possessive even of us at times.

Yes indeed: lights-camera-action aren’t that far around the bend at all. Unless of course, he’s late as some would say first-time baby/mothers are. Then again, that’s reportedly just a myth. Time will tell, heh?

2009, astrology, baby, birthdays, daily log, midwife, natural childbirth, past present future, pets, pregnancy, tristan 2009, baby, full moon, past present future, pets, pregnancy, sex, tristan

So I’m coming up on my 30th birthday in about 6 days, on December 29th. And it’s really hard to fathom in some ways.

On one hand, I feel much older than my 30 years of age, but in most cases, I feel much younger. I still feel like an older teenager or in my early twenties; I’ve felt like this probably since I was 22, I think. Now that my twenties are coming to a close, I’m forced to admit that this may be changing finally. My mind still feels that young in many respects, but physically, I have to admit I’m feeling my age. And I don’t like it.

I know of many shining examples in my west coast family (and some here back east) that have such a great mindset or something, keeping their youth, super active, super fun. I’m sure most of this all in our heads, but I haven’t found my own method of enacting this outlook yet.

I steadfastly refuse to go another year feeling this way though and will do whatever I have to to find and create my own methodology for eternal young-mindedness. Not only for my own sake/sanity/well-being but so too for my baby slated for arrival in under a month now.

I can’t imagine not being in the fittest shape of my life when he’s ready to play, I don’t want to disappoint and let him down in anyway…

Between my Saturn Return, my pending fatherhood and my big 3.0 coming down fast, it’s quite a bit to take in and process gleefully.

astrology, daily log, past present future, ritual, time age, astrology, birthdays, daily log, past present future, ritual, time