JediWright.com

Google brought it to my attention to submit my question on the WhiteHouse.gov site tonight. So here’s what I wrote:

“Where are the small biz bailouts? If small biz is as crucial to our nations prosperity as you claim, why throw millions of dollars of aid to big biz? Let’s see a lot let less talk and a whole lot more aid to those that truly need it to survive.”

And a snapshot of it on the site:

I’ve been looking for a job now for over a few months (actually I’m always looking, but I’ve been scouring the ads intensively since we moved to PA and even more so for the last month when it became clear we needed to move) and have gotten zip-zero-zilch in the way of response from any of my resumes, submitted or posted online or otherwise.

I’m so fed up with my failure rate at finding conventional work and the criticisms from family. It’s no wonder all I’m getting is shit from them and apparently Tristan’s too, about how my priorities are wrong and so and so forth – I’m dead in the water when it comes to entering the conventional workforce.

Though in my defense, I have been taking as many hours as are available, while here in PA with an old boss doing some carpentry. And I’ve had to continue working for DistinctiveFabric.com for the last month unpaid, since my salary was frozen. As CEO and co-owner, I have a lot of responsibility that I can’t just write off, so a good deal of my time is taken up each week dealing with things there. And I had started a company last year with a friend who’s been investing since August or so, so I can’t just walk away from that. I have my obligations to him to see things through there with that. Also, I HAVE A BABY for the first time and a partner who’s struggling with post-partum depression on top of a previous depression (due to me moving us here). And oh yeah, I have no car of my own. That’s the real decision-maker there: no wheels = no job commuting (I borrow my old boss’s truck when working for him).

I’ve known I don’t fit the conventional mode for most of my life. And besides school, I’ve noticed it most acutely while in the general workplace. That’s why I’ve always found myself always pursuing some startup idea or another, cause I know the only way I’m ever going to make real money (short of moving back to LA and working for The Do LaB indefinitely) is to create my own company.

I’ve lost track of how many resumes I’ve put out over the last month. I’ve had an offer from The Do LaB though to go work Coachella again with more paid to me in a day rate than I’d make in nearly a week at any other job. But Tristan sees it as the wrong course, stating that it doesn’t make any sense and I need to focus on finding stable income once we move to Akron (in less than two weeks now). I don’t completely agree: it’s a great paying gig, they’d cover my expense (including travel) and as a plus, I’d get out to check in on DistinctiveFabric.com after having been gone for six months. On the other hand, the time spent in Cali would require some expense while there, so I’d probably lose about a 1/5th of my pay to that.

I’ve never totally bought into a conventional path to anything and I guess it really shows at this point in my life. It’s almost as if employers and family latch on to that immediately and steer clear (or cast harsh judgement on me for leading a different life).

The only route I see offering any sort of solution here is joining the military (okay yes that’s drastic but I’m venting here , cause I sure as hell don’t wait tables. I tried once and it was a complete nightmare. But if I’m down to minimum wage jobs or the military, maybe a move back to LA is the best choice. I’ll have to see how things go with the in-person job hunt first before turning everything upside down considering another move to LA.

Today I threw together a quick little sidebar banner for SolarHoster.com’s Twitter profile, nothing special. Just a 5-min cut and paste effort.

Today I took another much needed break from office/computer work to work up the street at the River.

Yesterday I returned to work on one of the many ongoing projects there, picking up this time from where I’d left off before Lee was born in January: the floor installation. So yesterday I hand-carried a truck full of white pine tonge-and-groove flooring half an acre or so to the job site, since I couldn’t drive on the wet, soft ground. I got the job site prepped for installation, my workstation organized and installed my first few pieces, then called it a day. It was a short day at only three hours, but a very busy one.

Today I got in a decent amount of work in only five hours, installing up to nearly 3/4 quarters of the flooring. I also helped Tim install the main, front window, which was really nice as it really brightens the room and makes working amidst stone and block that much better.

Tomorrow, time permitting, I’ll be back to finish the flooring installation. Then it’s on to finishing the window and door installations, the ceiling, the interior wall, wiring, heating, and some other odds and ends.

These last few weeks have been some of the most intense I think I’ve yet experienced. Not like I haven’t been through some bad spells before or anything but this latest round has been really drilling and consistent.

From having had to freeze my DF salary, to filing for unemployment, to continuing to adjust to parenthood, to having to cut my health insurance out, then Tristan’s, to filing for medicaid for her and Lee (which still isn’t sorted out, so he’s still without coverage), to wrangling with two startups, to enrolling back into school (with ITT Tech for computer network systems) with full tuition covered but no way to start due to a complete lack of income.

In addition, I had some issues with communication between family and friends that added to everything else, really put me close a breaking point I’ve not recalled reaching before.

Thankfully, things started turning around a little this past weekend with the arrival of a reimbursement check from my canceled Blue Cross policy, confirmation on the start of my U.I. from California and most significantly, the long overdue activation of my solar web hosting service at SolarHoster.com. Granted, it’s still a far cry from what I envision it to be, but at least I can start hosting sites.

Meanwhile, Tristan and I have continued our discussions over what we’re doing concerning our living situation. She doesn’t want to stay here in PA and wants to move back to Ohio to have the support of her old friends and family there. Admittedly, it’s not a bad idea as it’s much cheaper there, she’ll be more grounded (in theory) with her friends, family and hometown, and we are exploring discussions of renting a house with her best girlfriend, Amanda.

We’ve submitted a rental app on one house so far and are waiting to hear back from the landlord. If that goes through, we’ll probably be moving around April 15th.

What this means for Rivertribe, my other startup exploration happening here in PA, is uncertain. Though it’s uncertain anyway as I’m having a hard time getting movement from my friend with the equipment that would allow startup of operations. This is actually kind of okay with me anyway, as I had only wanted to explore the possibility of starting Rivertribe up. Then I asked another friend to go in on it and things started getting out of control and I failed to manage things properly.

So as I should have learned from before, don’t do business with friends. Period. But if you insist on doing so, be very explicit about every little detail from the get go. Otherwise, things can get twisted fast. Which they have done to some degree in this instance, which is unfortunate, but not surprising considering where my life’s been these last few weeks.

Concerning startups and partners in general, I’d venture to say in some ways business mirrors people’s ways and gives greater clarity into the type of person you are. So maybe business together with friends is not such a bad thing, cause it helps cut away to the truth of things that you might not have otherwise seen before.

Anyway, my real priorities are certainly obvious now regardless having lost my salary. All else gets put on hold when you’ve got to find immediate income. It’s tough times to be job hunting though, especially when you don’t even own your own car and are sharing your partners. And more so in my case since I moved us to a rural setting without any public transit. Doh.

Thankfully, one of my LA contacts recently offered up a freelance gig with his company Ijhana. Hopefully things pan out, they’ve offered a few times before but nothing ever came of it. Hopefully now is the time. I/we can’t afford it to be otherwise.
–
Update: We’ve found a house and put a deposit down (thanks Amanda!) and we’ll be moving sometime after April 1st.

Children surely have been born designed with multiple survival mechanisms, though many pale in comparison to what know and are used to from most creatures in the animal kingdom.

Lee is no exception and as his father and a new parent, it’s pretty powerful to watch and experience the reactions to his mechanisms.

Top three survival instincts noted to date:

1. Cuteness!

Babies are generally cute and again, Lee is no exception. He gets so much attention, both from family and complete strangers. Something so adorable is just hard to ignore or refuse lavishing one’s attention on.

2. Crying

Ugh. Probably his most powerful instinct and mechanism is ironically, his most vulnerable, at least it would be if he wasn’t of the modern home sapien erectus clan. His cries are so gut wrenching, at least as a parent, especially within the first weeks of birth, that your own senses go on hyper vigilance. If they were the cries of any other adults kids, it might be different, and most times it is just plain irritating.

3. Limb Movement

Babies have little to no great control over their limb movements at first. And some like Lee, can be excessive and violent in their motions. And while his or any other baby’s range of motion and motor control is far from a great defense, it still could do some good since their motions are quick, unpredictable (well okay, not completely unpredictable), and seemingly violent.

Of course, all this motion day-to-day is just he or she developing their motor control, but there are times when it seems to more defensive or reactionary to something they don’t like or startles them.

Regardless of what is and isn’t a survival instinct, he remains super cute.